Measurements and Musings

Time for an update, I think!

Since my last update, I’ve been doing well at continuing to go to the gym (well, mostly my aqua aerobics classes, but that still counts!) I’ve also been more pleased with, or at least at peace with what my body looks like naked.

However, ‘naked’ is the key term here. I recently had to go clothes shopping for an interview outfit, and the process of trying to find clothes in my size did some serious damage to my self esteem. Today, I have to go out again, this time for a graduation outfit, and I have to admit that I am nervous enough about the process to have spent some time this morning googling various size measurements and waist – to – hip ratios to try and assure myself that all clothing manufacturers are stupid, and that my body is beautiful and that everything will be fine. Basically psyching myself up for the day ahead.

The anxiety that shopping induces in me is also the reason that I am currently still wearing jeans from two years ago, even though they are torn, because I just cannot face having to go out and confront my weight gain in the public forum which is a fitting room.

But here is the thing, my current measurements would put me at a size 18 according to the size charts of a range of clothing lines. And yet, none of my clothes that I wear on a daily basis match those measurements. I spend my time wearing size 14 and 16 mostly (UK sizes.)

Where does this discrepancy come from? Well, there are three things I can think of.

1.The clothes I wear are old, and therefore sizes may have changed or they items themselves may be stretched in a way that enables them to still fit my body. (This is probably most true of my size 14 skinny jeans that I’m refusing to throw out.)

2. Clothing isn’t designed to fit someone who is shaped like me. I have a waist to hip difference of almost ten inches, and that difference is created by a combination of a round bum and stomach fat which sits low on my body. These factors combine together to mean that trousers that fit at the waist squish my belly in to the most horrendous mess, and trousers that manage to flatter or conceal my belly make me look boxy by failing to highlight the womanly curve from hip to waist, and don’t fit around my bum. Combine that with my comparatively small boobs and wide back, and you begin to see the problem.

3. I am slightly in denial about the weight I have gained, and therefore choose clothes to try on that don’t reflect my current shape.

In reality, it is most likely a combination of all of these, and whilst it is easy to sit here and write candidly about these things, it’s much harder to keep that perspective once you are in your fifth changing room staring in the mirror and hating what you see and item after item refuses to do up or flatter your shape. Incidentally, this is the reason that, back in 2014, when I last found jeans that looked great and fitted me perfectly, I bought 4 pairs, two in a size 14 and 2 in a size 16. (I still wear them to this day, although admittedly the 14’s are currently a little snug.)

So, what’s a girl to do? Well, longer term, this girl is going to continue going to the gym whilst also trying to love the body she has. Short term, she’s going to take a tape measure shopping with her, so she can pick items that fit her measurements, and try to ignore whatever number on the tag comes with that.

 

Until next time!

Dani x

 

Gyms are scary!

Today, I went to the gym for the first time since I was 17.

And it was intimidating as hell!

Walking through the door, the first thing I realised was that there was absolutely NO ONE in there that was over-weight or even vaguely unfit.

The second thing I realised is that, apart from me, there were only about 5 other girls in what was a pretty busy room.

The third realisation dawned as I looked at all the equipment in the room. It had all been replaced and upgraded since the last time I was a member here.

Now, everything was shades of matt grey, with the words ‘Techno Gym’ emblazoned on the side. Of everything in the room, I knew how to use approximately 1/3 of the weights machines, and I had very little interest in the cardio or free weights.

Nevertheless, with one or two embarrassing moments, I stayed and worked out for an hour!

It didn’t take me long to realise that everyone else in the gym was too busy getting on with their own thing to bother taking any notice of me.

 I also quickly realised that everyone starts somewhere, and for me, that meant around two sets of 25 reps on the machines I could work out, with the weight ranging between 5 and 25 kg depending on the muscles I was using. (It turns out I have absolutely no muscles in my upper back….)

I hope that next time I visit, I will be less intimidated, and better equipped to make good use of the equipment available. To that end, I have booked an induction on Tuesday, after my ‘dance aerobics’ class. (It was highly evident today that if I’m going to incorporate any cardio in to my routine, then I needed it in the form of encouraging instructors shouting at me enthusiasticly.)

All in all, I feel like I did good work today, and now I’m feeling achy but pleased that I was able to overcome my initial trepidation about the whole thing.
Until next time!

Dani 

Summer is here, get to the gym!

 I haven’t posted in a while. The cop-out reason I could give for that would centre on finishing my degree and final exams.

Whilst that certainly didn’t help, it would be lying to you and to me to say that it was the only reason.

The truth is, I didn’t so much fall off the wagon, as crash off and rolled away from it. I went back to sugar (specifically biscuits) as I finished my dissertation. I stopped Sunday-Run day. All in all, a disaster.

BUT I’m now ready to get back on the wagon, and to commit to it in a big way. I’ve got myself a super discounted gym membership (seriously guys, wait until the end of the month when membership sales people need to meet their quotas, and then ask for a discount). I’m also back at aqua aerobics.

This morning I was in the pool, taking a class by 9.10am, and yesterday I spent all day outside digging the garden. The physical activity feels hard on my body, but great on my mind.

I’ve got a goal of loosing the 20kgs I’ve put on in the last 2.5 years, and I’m also hoping to get back on the ‘refined sugar free’ wagon. 

Baby steps, one excercise class at a time. To tell the truth, I’m pretty intimidated about the classes out of the pool – I’m so unfit that I am worried I’ll stick out like a sore thumb! But fingers crossed I can get past that worry soon.

I’ll update you as I go!
Until next time,

Dani 

OMG Check this out!

Guys, today I discovered a truly amazing resource for anyone who is trying to either loose weight and wants to know how much┬átheir desired body ‘look’ might weigh, or anyone who needs a Body-Positive boost, so that they can get a handle on what a certain height and weight look like on real women.

This resource is the website: http://www.mybodygallery.com/

You put in your height, weight, and body type and hit search. The site then generates an entire gallery of women (or there is a men’s section) that fit that criteria, showing you how weight, fat and muscle can create varying body types and how numbers on the scale do not necessarily mean the same for everyone.

Using this resource really opened my eyes, and it also helped me to feel less uncomfortable in my own skin when I could look at images of women exactly the same height and weight as me, and still find things that I just loved about their bodies.

The website also has a ‘quiz’ function, to test whether you know what a particular weight actually looks like on a ‘normal’ woman.

I cannot recommend this enough, and I will certainly be going back for another visit in the future. I may even upload my own images, who know??

Until next time,

Dani xx

Where have I got to?

Well, some progress, some regression.

Let’s start with the positives:

The other day, there was birthday cake in the fridge. (Birthday cake doesn’t count as part of my sugar free choices because who wants to be THAT person at a party, right?)

I decided I would have a piece for breakfast (ok, not so great I’ll admit, but I’m getting to the good bit!)

Warmed chocolate fudge cake – used to be one of my favourites. So I grabbed a fork, only to find that it was far too sweet! So much so that I put half of my slice in the bin!

Also, I’ve also sometimes able to look at myself in the mirror recently and think I’m looking better, (from the front at least – the side is still a disaster!)

So that’s great, but there have been cons too:

I haven’t gone for a run for the last few Sundays.

I’m not doing so well as I was at being strick with myself.

Added to that, whilst I’m trying hard to be proud and impressed, the fact my boyfriend has managed to drop an incredible 8kgs since stopping sugar has made me feel very jealous. He didn’t hate the way he looked before, whilst I did/do and currently feel very trapped inside my skin.

With exam season beginning to hit in earnest, I think that the best I can do is just try to tighten up on being stricter with being sugar free. Once the exams are over, I’ve got to find the money from somewhere so that I can get in the gym. I’d like to try my hand at weight training.

In the meantime, any encouragement to boost me out of my current slump would be lovingly and gratefully received! 

Until next time,

Dani xx

Weight loss Update!

I’m so pleased – one month without refined sugar, and I’m almost 2kg down already!!! 


It’s been a challenge, but to see the numbers just shrinking without anything more time consuming or costly than just cutting the sugar is amazing.

That’s why I’ve decided to step it up. Over the next little while, I’m going to also cut fruit juice, and I’m going to stop having little ‘jam pick-me-ups’ when it gets really tough. I’m also going to be more ‘sugar-conscious’ when buying products like bread and yogurt.

I’ll still have honey and fruit, and I think this should be manageable.

I’m really pleased with how strong willed I’ve been so far. I resisted a chocolate brownie that was in the cupboard for a week before I had to ask my dad to eat it! I also didn’t succumb when my parents bought custard doughnuts, chocolate fudge puddings and apple crumble in the weekly shop.

I’m so glad the scales reflect that determination! I am beginning to see the changes in my body too, but it’s too subtle to shout about in a photograph just yet!

Until next time,

Dani xx

Join me on the bandwagon!

A scary thing has happened – my sugar-obsessed boyfriend has decided to join me on my sugar-free journey!

Not going to lie, I am both excited and slightly scared – what happens when both people in a relationship are having a sugar-related melt down?! I’m joking of course. It feels great to have his support, especially because when he gave me a kiss after having secretly eaten a Snickers bar the other day I could have killed him!

“Have you been eating CHOCOLATE!? And now you’re giving me chocolate flavour kisses? You have got to be joking!”

Bless him – poor boy! I’ve no idea why he puts up with me.

We both suffered from the weight gain that everyone warns you about once you are in a happy relationship – ‘love pounds’ as I like to think of them. And now he’d recovered from a 15 month injury (!) he seems committed to starting to work out as a couple again.

‘Oh that’s so cute!’ I hear you say. I thought so too, until Sunday morning rolled around….

Woosh! The duvet disappears and there is my keen and hyper boyfriend, standing there, ready for the day and expecting me to share his enthusiasm for mornings.

“Get up! I’m better and now we can work out together” he beams at me.

I groan at him and protest that “No, I don’t want to get up and work out. It’s Sunday Run-Day.”

“Oh” he says, undeterred, “Are you going for a run?”

“No…” I mumble begrudgingly. (To be fair, it was pouring with rain.)

Damn it, he is not to be dissuaded it seems! My case wasn’t helped by the fact that I had in fact been watching a Buzzfeed ‘We tried couple’s workouts for a week’ video when he’d come in to the room.

Cue some classic Rihanna tunes of Spotify, and minutes later we were jointly trying to squat, sit-up and press-up our way to newly improved bodies, whilst also sharing the dawning realisation that we were both super weak.

All in all, it felt great to have my best friend by my side and cheering me on, even if I wished that our Sunday lie-in could have lasted for a little while longer! If we keep working out together, hopefully we will soon be able to do some of those ‘couples workouts’ without one of us falling and crushing the other!

 

Until next time,

 

Dani x